


Spoons

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lobelia Sackville-Baggins had snatched Bilbo’s silver spoons while he was gone on his adventure.  He managed to snag most of them when he returned…but there are still five missing.  This is his journey for the missing spoons…and the mischief that ensued.





	Spoons

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. 

 

The very name gave a bad taste to his mouth.  It made his arms prickle with goosebumps, his hair stand on the back of his neck. 

 

Sure, she was one of his cousins.  Kin, but that didn’t mean he had to like her…or tolerate her.  And honestly, this was the last straw.  Or in this case, the last spoon.

 

Bilbo sat at his kitchen table as he twirled the little silver spoon in his fingers.  When he came back to the Shire, he hadn’t expected to have to put his house back in order, that Lobelia would have lobbied that he was dead and his home and items could be sold.  Actually, if Bilbo was being completely honest, he did expect that.  To have come home and everything be right where he left it, that would have been suspicious. 

 

Most of his neighbors and kin had been quick to return the items to him, in exchange for what they paid for it, which was only fair.  A couple were even kind enough to help him move the things back into Bag End.  It still made his little hobbit hole a mess, clutter everywhere, but that was alright.  At least he was home…

 

His mind drifted a moment as he thought of that word, home.  It’s funny, thinking it now…it wasn’t his voice that echoed in his mind, but that of a friend…a friend who was now long gone. 

 

Bilbo shook his head and drew his attention back to his spoons, trying to stop the onslaught of grief that he knew would follow if he didn’t stop the longing, the wishes of having friends turn up at his door, friends that never would. 

 

No, instead, he focused on his growing resentment for one person. Lobelia. 

 

When he arrived back home, he was lucky to snag his silver spoons from her, give her a grimace, and storm off.  He should have known it wouldn’t have ended there.  As he put them away last night, he realized…five were missing.  Five silver spoons, which were his mother’s, were now missing from the collection.  He had to get them back. 

 

He had to…  But this would take cunning, and stealth, and bravery.  Luckily, his journey had granted him much of that.  Perhaps it was time to put his new trinket and new found talents to good use.

 

000

 

In retrospect, Bilbo probably should have stopped while he was ahead.  He waited in the field, relaxing, appearing to just be basking in the sun.  In reality, he was waiting for Lobelia to leave her home for the morning market.  His little gold ring sat in his pocket.  Once she was gone, he would slip it on, sneak into her home, get his five spoons, and be gone without anyone being the wiser.

 

That was the plan.

 

Until Lobelia returned only a few moments after leaving, must have forgotten her shawl or something.  Bilbo’s heart almost stopped when he saw her walking straight towards him, but of course he had on the ring, so she didn’t even know. 

 

A smirk came across his face as she walked past.  He should have just went on with his plan.  He should have just gotten the spoons and left…  But then Bilbo thought back to all the nasty and unruly things she had done over the years to him.  Those moments flashed before his eyes, but when the sun caught one little silver spoon, in just the right light…Bilbo decided, let’s make Fili and Kili proud. 

 

Bilbo quickly moved to the front door.  Lobelia had left it open, probably thinking that she would be just a moment. 

 

Bilbo let a mischievous smirk spread across his face as he gripped the round door tight before slamming it shut.

 

“Hello?!”  Lobelia shouted out as she moved into the hallway.  She glanced at the door as Bilbo just smirked and moved into her front room.  She had a marvelous collection of bells that sat upon a beautiful wooden curio cabinet.  Bilbo picked a couple up and rang them quickly before replacing them and moving further into the room.

 

“Who is in my home?!”  She demanded as she stomped into the room.  Bilbo had to bite his fist to keep the laughter down at seeing her ruffled state.  Her face turning red and her eyes searching the seemingly empty room. Bilbo took a few steps back and into her kitchen as he saw a couple knives and forks…a familiar song playing in his mind.

 

He picked a couple up and started pounding the ends together and against the table in a familiar beat.  He took a deep breath, and in the deepest voice, trying to imitate one of his dwarf companions, he began to sing.

 

“Blunt the knives, bend the forks…”  He sang loudly, making sure his voice was deep and unlike his own.  Lobelia came around the corner just as he tossed the utensils in the air and picked up a couple wooden bottles.

 

“Smash the bottles, and burn the corks!”  He sang over her high pitched scream.  He sent a silent thank you to his magical ring.  For she didn’t see him, and if he knew Lobelia, knew of her superstitious ways, she would think he was a Spector.

 

“Chip the glasses and crack the plates…”  He quickly stepped up to her and stomped his foot as he practically shouted.  “That’s what Lobelia hates!” 

 

He barked out laughter as she screamed and quickly ran from her own home.  Bilbo folded his arms over his chest proudly after he swiped up the last of his silver spoon and stuck them in his pocket.  He practically strutted out of Lobelia’s house and down the path as he heard her drag a few others back into her home, claiming there was evil in there. 

 

“Well done, Mr. Boggins!”  “Truly made us proud!”  He could hear the voices of Fili in Kili in his head.  It made him tear up at the thought, how proud his passed on friend would be of this little prank.  He could see it in his mind, how the two princes would stand there, a proud look on their eyes, as they glanced between him and each other, praising his work.

 

But the voice that made those tears fall was the deep, yet kind voice that echoed in his mind.  “You have done well, Master Burglar.”  Thorin Oakenshield’s voice.  His friend…He could see him, a smirk on his face of amusement before he turned his attention to something else. 

 

By the time he got back to Bag End, he had removed his ring and simply collapsed onto the glory box by his front door.  He sat there as he pulled up the memory of those friends’ voices and faces, their smiles, their scowls, everything in between. 

 

He ran his fingers over the edge of the glory box and let a choked sob, it was half cry and half laugh, as he saw a couple chips in the lid.  “See here, Kili!  You have gone and damaged my mother’s glory box…I shant forgive you for this…”  He ran his fingers over the chips as the tears fell quicker, the pain and loss that had been bottled up on his journey home, finally coming through. 

 

“My apologies, Mr. Boggins.  I bet Bofur could fix that!”  Kili’s voice sounded in his head.  My, how Bilbo would give anything to actually hear that voice, to have his friends carrying on with their bad manners in his dining room again. 

 

“Come now, Master Baggins.  You are home, with your books, and your armchair.  Fret not for us…we are at peace.”  Bilbo sobbed as Thorin’s voice, the voice of his greatest friend, echoed in his mind. 

 

When Bilbo would recall that moment later, he would swear…he would swear on Bag End, that he felt a familiar heavy hand on his shoulder.  A heavy hand that soothed him when the pain became more than he could bear.


End file.
